standing at the door

My prayers lately have been for wisdom... in raising children, in decision making, in relationships, in finances... in nearly everything. And God has been faithful to show me what wisdom looks like - an example of the third captain in I Kings 1, practical advice in Hebrews 10, and a reminder that in Christ "are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge." (Colossians 2)

Yet this morning on my run I continued to wrestle with God, trying to understand His perspective and will for our lives right now. As I thought about how He's always provided in the past - has always given us everything we need, I started to realize that maybe, He was actually asking me to make less decisions... to do less... to give up a little bit... and to trust more.

I had just read in John 20 about Mary and the disciples at the empty tomb of Jesus. It struck me how it said that she "stood without" and needed a lot of reassurance... even after she had heard the voice of the Lord once already. But Revelation 20 reminds us that we need not stand on that side of the door - that if we hear His voice, hear Him saying our name, and open up to Him... He will come in. We can trust Him with all of the desires of our hearts and the needs of our bodies and the thoughts in our minds. It is only there, in Him, that I will find the treasures of wisdom and knowledge that I seek.

Revelation 3:18-20: "I counsel thee to buy of me gold tried in the fire, that thou mayest be rich, and white raiment, that thou mayest be clothed, and that the shame of thy nakedness do not appear, and anoint thine eyes with eye salve, that thou mayest see. As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent. Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me."