Saturday, June 13, 2015

wheat & weights

"And when they had eaten enough, they lightened the ship, and cast out the wheat into the sea. And when it was day, they knew not the land: but they discovered a certain creek with a shore, into the which they were minded, if it were possible, to thrust in the ship." (Acts 27:38-39)

I can just picture this: they're throwing things into the sea to lighten the ship, and they get to the wheat. And they say to each other - "ok, really? It's just wheat. It hardly weighs anything. And besides, we have to have something to eat. It's staying." And they move on to the next thing. But it wasn't until after even the wheat - their sustenance - was cast into the sea that they found "a certain creek with a shore" - the place of refuge for which they had been searching.

That shore - we're all searching for it. We are looking for a place to land, even temporarily, until we reach the heavenly one - but the storms beat hard and a lot of times we feel like we're drowning. For me, the stress of the past few weeks has far surpassed any stress I've ever felt before and I can't even describe how completely and totally done and exhausted I have been.

But I've been carrying a lot of wheat. I've been relying on my own resources and clinging to things that I think are going to help me - longer to-do lists, more spending, going more places. I have gotten a lot accomplished, but it's been at the expense of my attitude and my time with the Lord. I need to "take up my anchors" and "commit myself to the sea" - stop trying to provide myself and start letting Him in again. (vs. 40) He's the only one who can help me get "stuck fast" in this place where my "two seas" are meeting - who can help me "run aground" and "remain unmoveable". (vs. 41)

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